Often times we find ourselves overwhelmed by a bunch of TODO lists, being too busy or totally stressed up, lacking the time for the things that are important to us. So when it comes to the point of wanting to do something for us like to go on a trip or travel, to go exercise or do sports, to spend more time with our friends or family, to read some books etc. we make an excuses like: “Not now”, “I can’t to that now”, “I don’t have time for such things”, “I’m to busy now. Maybe later”. And the truth is that this “later” never comes… Wouldn’t it be nice if we had more time? The day lasted longer? Even then I’m sure we would end up lacking time… So the truth is that we don’t have MORE TIME. In order to make it more quality, we have to manage the time we have. Before I get into the description of time management, I want to ask you a really important question. What exactly is TIME? How would you define it? I mean think about it!
Some people would define time with calendars or as a measure of activities. But the matter of fact
TIME IS NOTING BUT EMOTION!!!
Have you ever been in a joyful situation with a friends, lover, enjoying yourself and you have totally forgotten about time. You had the feeling that the time just passed by. Days went on as seconds do… Or the other way around. You were in some stressful or even miserable situation and minutes seemed to pass by like very long long years… I bet you’ve been in both situations!
So most of the time we forget that time is just a feeling! We end up focusing on our activities, our TODO lists, having a bunch of movement, but still not having any feeling of achievement and fulfillment. Also we were promised that TECHNOLOGY should bring us more time! But actually is the other way around. Often times instead helped by the new technology we end up controlled and limited by it. For example with the cell phones we became more accessible and often we find ourselves constantly reacting to all phone calls, all emails or any other distractions which are actually not that important, but are urgent because we are accessible.
So what is the solution to these problems? How can we manage our time better?
The profound answer is simple: It’s the power of FOCUS! Where to we tend to put our focus on, where do we direct our energy, literally changes how we feel. The fact is that most of the people don’t direct their focus consciously.
The most people focus is on the things they worry, whereas worry is a TYPE OF FEAR. So they focus on the things they fear most and the things they don’t want, and sometimes at the expense of the things that are important to them. E.g.
- “I have to pay my bills, so I have to to work overtime and therefore I don’t have time for my family”,
- “I’m too busy to exercise, to take care of my body, my health. I simply don’t have the time right now. What if I don’t pass the exam, the project, the deadline I have.”,
- “I cannot relax now, take a walk, afford myself something special, because I’m too busy”…
It is natural that fear gets our attention. It is our survival instinct and in certain situations helps us and saves us. But if the fear controls us and prevent us for concentrating on the things we want, the things that are important to us, then we feel that the events are controlling us and we find our selves living in reaction, instead of action.
The second thing that people focus on are the things that give them immediate pleasure like food, sweets, drink alcohol, take drugs, watch TV, sex or even work etc. These things give them instant pleasure, even though on a long run don’t actually help them fulfill their needs. Its quite the opposite of that. When people find themselves being overwhelmed or losing control, instantly their self-esteem drops down. And self-esteem is a sense of identity, a sense of certainty and that’s why people tend to grab these things that give them instant pleasure, because they feel that they are in control again. It gives them a sense of certainty!
The third that people focus on is the other people’s demands and then their life becomes about responding to other people and their urgencies. Most people’s lives are direct reflection of the expectation of their peer group.
As long as you respond to the things that concern you, are the potential pain or worry, or as long as you are trying to get a “quick fix” of pleasure, or as long as you are responding to the peoples demands, YOU ARE LIVING LIFE OF REACTION! And you won’t get a level of fulfillment this way!
So what is the solution here. Well, as I mention above it to FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT AND NOT ON WHAT YOU FEAR! If you focus on the things you want, does this guarantees you get the things you want. Not necessary. But if you are focusing on the things you fear, on the problem, on what you don’t want, YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT YOU GONNA GET THE THINGS YOU FEAR!!!
How do we change focus?
Simply by asking quality questions. If you ask lousy questions, you will get lousy answers. For example: if you ask yourself this lousy question: “How come I can’t lose weight”, the brain generates some lousy answer like: “Because you are a PIG”, “Because you are born that way”, “Because you always have been this way”… If you ask a different question like: “How could I lose weight”, this question is a little better and your brain would generate something like: “You can go on a diet”. The problem with it that diets are painful so you probably don’t want to do that. Better question to ask yourself would be: “How can I lose weight and really enjoy the process”, now your brain will give you a different answer: “I always loved to play basketball or doing swimming or claiming on the mountain and maybe I could go do this and this way I will enjoy myself and I don’t get to think about losing weight, it will happen automatically”…
“Some people see things that are done and ask why! I see things that are never done and ask why not!” ~ J. F. Kennedy
IF YOU WANNA BETTER ANSWERS FOR YOUR LIFE; YOU GOTTA ASK BETTER QUESTIONS, MAN!!!
In order to manage your time successfully you have know the following:
- What do you want? Most people don’t know what they really want. They don’t know their outcome, their result, they don’t have a direction where they want to go. And then life for these people becomes really frustrating. It’s full of things “to do”, without wanting them or knowing why they do them. – OUTCOME
- Why do you want it? This is really important. You have to know why you want a certain thing. What does it bring you. What feeling or meaning. Without knowing why you want and do things, you easily become over-whelmed or stressed and you end up not getting the “juice” you need to fulfill you. – PURPOSE
- What do I need to do to make that happen? And people that know what they want and why they want it, can usually easily figure out how to GET IT. – ACTION
Most of the people know that 2o% of the things we do, gives us the 80% of the results we want. So it is not a matter of doing many things as it is of doing the things we want with quality. Furthermore, the only difference between work and play is the purpose! A lot of people when they are playing are doing actually hard work, but they don’t call it work, they call it fun, because they want to do that, decide to do that… Everyone that has a sense of purpose, that succeeds, his work has become FUN, something they enjoy what they do, they do what they love, they love what they do. Sounds familiar? As oppose to that, when people do things without knowing their purpose, without having the sense of fulfillment, they end having a bunch of TODO lists, totally drained up. Remember:
WE ARE NOT HUMAN DOINGS; WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS. ~ Wayne Dyer
Many people forget this.
Important vs. Urgent
If we classify the things we want to do with the following combinations:
- Not urgent, not important (the escape zone) – drink alcohol, watch TV, have sex, etc. Most of the people spend their life in this zone. This zone is not necessary bad, but if the majority of the time is spent there, obviously there is no fulfillment.
- Urgent, not important (the delusion zone) – Email, phone calls and similar things belong to this category. These things beg us to respond immediately, so are urgent, but often time are not that important to us.
- Urgent, important (the demand zone) – Certain situations require your complete attention and are also important, or emergencies, or even accidents, require from us to respond immediately. But again, spending too much time in this zone will stress us up.
- Not urgent, important (the fulfillment zone) !!! – For example your health fits in this category. So even maybe it is not urgent right now, it is important. Furthermore, your hobbies, things that excite you and fulfill you belong to this category. Most of your time you should spend it this category! It is recommended that you spend at least 40% or even 50% in the fulfillment zone!
Go ahead and check for yourself, where do you spend your time most? Is it in the fulfillment zone? If not you are asking yourself why you don’t feel fulfilled?
Does this makes sense to you?
The resources I used, the ideas I got are from Anthony Robbins program and system “Time of your life“. Bellow you will find a short video on this topic.
Many details presented in this resources I left them out, and leave up to you to get his material if you are interested in his ideas in details!
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